Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Why Aren't Men In Church?
The Michael Basemen radio show posted a question asking why men aren't in church. A listener said in an article that church is for women and others say its a scam to get your money. Ridiculous in my book! Either response is appalling. The article says it's degrating to men having another man tell you how to live your life...... Immature comment maybe? I think so. In very area of your life, at all times of your life, there is someone telling you what to do. Parents tell you what to do as well as teachers, bosses, doctors, elderly caregivers, and even funeral directors. Even God leaves you with free will. What does it say about someone who can't accept proper guidance? He who loves correction loves knowledge he who hates correction is stupid. Find that in Proverbs. As far as money goes, this is where the real argument begins. Some places take it too far in my opinion. An ATM in the church Vesta view might be too much but I can deal with that because I may not want to pay my tithes in check or credit. Checking my W-2 is going way too far for me. The church should not turn away the lost or stray because they aren't tithing. That's between them and God. But tithe and offering is commanded by God in the book of Malachi chapter 4 or 6 but I believe 6 verse 8. There is a promise attached to all God commands. Weather you want to give extra for building fund, missions, benevolence, or anything else is at your discretion. Just don't neglect what God commands. The church still has to function. They do more than preach on Sunday and mid-week service. Full time pastors spend loads of hours before God in prayer and fasting to get a word to deliver. They show up at the hospital when you are sick, council you before marriage and marry you, Cristen your children, perform funerals. That is a lot of work. Not to mention they have to attend seminary school and get licensed. Yes they have student loans too. They have bills to pay just like you and I yet they make themselves available to everyone else. Some people expect them to devote all their time to them for free. That isn't fair. The psychiatrist can be paid and living well but a man or woman of God can't? I can't agree with that. Everyone needs to be taken care of. Church is a good place to meet people if you are single or looking for friends to hang out with. There are prayer groups and bible study meetings where you can chat or have an open forum to discuss issues or matters of the heart and find a friend there. Or perhaps you are single, there is a better chance of you finding someone serious about love and settling down there than at a night club. So why don't men come to church? Conviction? Disbelief? Not wanting to be held accountable? Not wanting to pay tithes to keep the church open? Too much structure? We may never know.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Retracting My Helping Hand
Family-
There are those family members you can't get enough of. Then there are those whom make you want a DNA test from to prove relation. I love my aunt. She's good entertainment. Before the moments together end, I know she's going to crack me up. Then there is today. I go out of my way to drive 20 minutes out to pick her up and take her to work an hour away 2 days in a row because her car is busted and she has no means of fixing it. Monday I let her borrow my car altogether. Thursday too. She complained about getting gas at $20 a pop twice in a week!
There was no consideration of the mileage she is accumulating on my car and the fact that I have to travel by foot or public transportation without my car that was never meant to get her from destination to destination but me instead. She didn't even recall that I had just put gas in my car before I let her borrow it Monday. I have errands to run but still she complains.
We are double tripping twice a day for her connivance not mine. She isn't insured on my car. Why is she complaining about gas she would have ultimately put in her own car provided it was up and running. The nerve of some people. I will not be taken advantage of. She has today to cool off but my birthday is Friday the 21st. She better not complain again. I don't travel more than 3 miles from my home to run errands so it is she who is burning the gas. I don't understand her frustration.
What do you do when your help is unappreciated? A big part of me wants to lay her out. The respectable part of me will just keep quiet. She is still my aunt which is an authoritative figure. I shouldn't argue with her. She probably won't apologize. I will have to retract my helping hand because she thinks its owed. Its not. I don't have to help her. Trouble is, how do I do that without the argument after?
What happened to adults having manners and just saying thanks. You have to pay for a cab; why not pay for gas when borrowing some one's car?
There are those family members you can't get enough of. Then there are those whom make you want a DNA test from to prove relation. I love my aunt. She's good entertainment. Before the moments together end, I know she's going to crack me up. Then there is today. I go out of my way to drive 20 minutes out to pick her up and take her to work an hour away 2 days in a row because her car is busted and she has no means of fixing it. Monday I let her borrow my car altogether. Thursday too. She complained about getting gas at $20 a pop twice in a week!
There was no consideration of the mileage she is accumulating on my car and the fact that I have to travel by foot or public transportation without my car that was never meant to get her from destination to destination but me instead. She didn't even recall that I had just put gas in my car before I let her borrow it Monday. I have errands to run but still she complains.
We are double tripping twice a day for her connivance not mine. She isn't insured on my car. Why is she complaining about gas she would have ultimately put in her own car provided it was up and running. The nerve of some people. I will not be taken advantage of. She has today to cool off but my birthday is Friday the 21st. She better not complain again. I don't travel more than 3 miles from my home to run errands so it is she who is burning the gas. I don't understand her frustration.
What do you do when your help is unappreciated? A big part of me wants to lay her out. The respectable part of me will just keep quiet. She is still my aunt which is an authoritative figure. I shouldn't argue with her. She probably won't apologize. I will have to retract my helping hand because she thinks its owed. Its not. I don't have to help her. Trouble is, how do I do that without the argument after?
What happened to adults having manners and just saying thanks. You have to pay for a cab; why not pay for gas when borrowing some one's car?
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Just As Beautiful?
Hey there readers!
There is a rather new lifestyle magazine on the loose called Just As Beautiful for plus sized women. I'm actually a bit insulted. Where do they get off?! Just as beautiful? Do people really think plus sized women really want to hear that? I love the idea and concept but hate the title. It was the comments left by some people mainly thin women that bothered me most. They said comments like "just lose the weight", fat women are creating more separation between thin and plus size fashion", and the stupidity goes on and on. Here was my response: "OK-
Models were meant to be thin in order to resemble a hanger so the attention is on the clothing not the person wearing them and designers made the collection in 1 size so all the models had to were the same size garment and shoe. That was for the runway only. The average woman wore and still wears a size 16. Even the nude art of yesteryear was of plump women. Somewhere along the lines, the bone-thin, airbrushed model was pinned as the face of feminine beauty thanks to the "sex sells" mantra. from that, women larger than a size 12 are told they are ugly because they are fat which couldn't be further from the truth. The worst part is that the model thin women pretend to be as curvaceous as heavier women. What woman do you know of wears a 0 dress but DD cup bra? Now that Victoria let her secret out, they all seem to be that busty.
Most designers cut off at size 12. A few like Oscar De La Renta and J Crew have a size 16 here and there but the standard cut off is 12. Where does that leave the plus size a.k.a. average woman? The nerve of some of these designers to use models like Tocarra from America's Top Model in the plus size market when she is a size 9! That is still a flat stomach! I need to know what a dress looks like on someone with muffin top or back fat. Don't waste my time having me go shopping to try on a brown dress only to look like a roasted turkey because I have no idea what the cut or style of dress would look like on someone my size. Until designers use models that can't shop Burberry or LaPerla, I think we need our own magazine thank you. I really think the name should be More Beautiful because we are and with bigger boobs."
Who would've said it better than me right?!
There is a rather new lifestyle magazine on the loose called Just As Beautiful for plus sized women. I'm actually a bit insulted. Where do they get off?! Just as beautiful? Do people really think plus sized women really want to hear that? I love the idea and concept but hate the title. It was the comments left by some people mainly thin women that bothered me most. They said comments like "just lose the weight", fat women are creating more separation between thin and plus size fashion", and the stupidity goes on and on. Here was my response: "OK-
Models were meant to be thin in order to resemble a hanger so the attention is on the clothing not the person wearing them and designers made the collection in 1 size so all the models had to were the same size garment and shoe. That was for the runway only. The average woman wore and still wears a size 16. Even the nude art of yesteryear was of plump women. Somewhere along the lines, the bone-thin, airbrushed model was pinned as the face of feminine beauty thanks to the "sex sells" mantra. from that, women larger than a size 12 are told they are ugly because they are fat which couldn't be further from the truth. The worst part is that the model thin women pretend to be as curvaceous as heavier women. What woman do you know of wears a 0 dress but DD cup bra? Now that Victoria let her secret out, they all seem to be that busty.
Most designers cut off at size 12. A few like Oscar De La Renta and J Crew have a size 16 here and there but the standard cut off is 12. Where does that leave the plus size a.k.a. average woman? The nerve of some of these designers to use models like Tocarra from America's Top Model in the plus size market when she is a size 9! That is still a flat stomach! I need to know what a dress looks like on someone with muffin top or back fat. Don't waste my time having me go shopping to try on a brown dress only to look like a roasted turkey because I have no idea what the cut or style of dress would look like on someone my size. Until designers use models that can't shop Burberry or LaPerla, I think we need our own magazine thank you. I really think the name should be More Beautiful because we are and with bigger boobs."
Who would've said it better than me right?!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Shallow or Cynic?
While net surfing I clicked my address bar for the drop-down of recently viewed sites and noticed one of them was a clothing site (http://www.newportnews.com/) so I visited. Suddenly, I'm checking out Kate Spade for an every-day black leather bag. My husband claimed I was shallow for online window shopping.
Does the desire to shop make me shallow? Just like any other woman, I put the needs of those around me before my own, I work like he does and still carry out domestic duties. To top it off I make sure I have time for my friends and social clubs (not networks) and spend plenty of quality time with my husband daily but because I want to go shopping from time to time I'm shallow? I recycle, donate, pay tithes, go to church, care for others and the environment, garden, play with my cat and volunteer sometimes. Why does wanting to shop make me shallow? Does checking facebook and twitter all day even while working make someone internet addicted or withdrawn? Does playing sports with friends on weekends make someone an athlete? So what if I dream of Michael Kors sportswear while he dreams of nature conservation. That doesn't make me shallow.
Because someone shops or gets excited when browsing doesn't mean they have no depth. Looking on facebook to see if old school mates are still losers is in my opinion. I blog for heaven's sake! My husband spends at least 2 hours on facebook daily I use the computer at home maybe 3 times a week. But I'm shallow? I think not. I'm not on any social network right now and spend most of my time doing things for him. He's on the computer all day and night daily. Looks to me like he doesn't know what shallow is but cynical, he's got down to a "T".
Does the desire to shop make me shallow? Just like any other woman, I put the needs of those around me before my own, I work like he does and still carry out domestic duties. To top it off I make sure I have time for my friends and social clubs (not networks) and spend plenty of quality time with my husband daily but because I want to go shopping from time to time I'm shallow? I recycle, donate, pay tithes, go to church, care for others and the environment, garden, play with my cat and volunteer sometimes. Why does wanting to shop make me shallow? Does checking facebook and twitter all day even while working make someone internet addicted or withdrawn? Does playing sports with friends on weekends make someone an athlete? So what if I dream of Michael Kors sportswear while he dreams of nature conservation. That doesn't make me shallow.
Because someone shops or gets excited when browsing doesn't mean they have no depth. Looking on facebook to see if old school mates are still losers is in my opinion. I blog for heaven's sake! My husband spends at least 2 hours on facebook daily I use the computer at home maybe 3 times a week. But I'm shallow? I think not. I'm not on any social network right now and spend most of my time doing things for him. He's on the computer all day and night daily. Looks to me like he doesn't know what shallow is but cynical, he's got down to a "T".
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Sins Of the Previous Love
You ever have a guy tell you that you are punishing him for something someone else did?
One of my best friends had that conversation with a co-worker. She didn't know how to respond but she knew that wasn't the case. I concur and I'll tell you why.
I often see women react instead of act. There is always an action from their man that causes a reaction. Women analyze things deeply and pay attention to every detail. If your on a date and you phone is on vibrate or silent but you keep getting calls, a woman will think like this: "Only a woman will call back to back like that unless it's an emergency and men don't have emergency calls from anyone other than their mom or child. He keeps ignoring the call so it's not an emergency but someone or woman wants his attention. I know it for a fact because this was the case with 3 other boyfriends and it happened the same exact way". See fellas? When you think they are just jealous or dwelling on the past, its really a matter of you having the same behavior as a previous lover. You're not that guy but you're acting just like him. We aren't as blind as you would like us to be.
When a woman is punishing you for something another man did, it's usually her father not a boyfriend although it does happen that way sometimes and it usually shows in the way of a gold digger. A gold digger is after your money because she watched her father leave her mother penniless and she had to work hard to provide for her children or she had a boyfriend who manipulated her into being a cash cow and abused her emotions and generosity. If you are dating a trophy, this is highly likely.
If you are in a relationship with a lady who suspects you of cheating and you have no time to cheat, your phone isn't always ringing, she already knows your social network and personal friends, etc. yet, you are still a suspect... then you have a different problem. You are giving someone other than her your peak time and inner-most thoughts or something that you don't give to her. If you tell you're mother or a friend everything but keep the conversation with her very vague, you will be a suspect in some cases. Even if you have a therapist you tell it all to but not to her, she will feel you don't trust her and if she feels that way, she will be thinking you trust someone else. Those parts of you belong to her by title alone if nothing else. That's not a punishment - it's a reaction to you withholding parts of yourself, or exuding the attributes of a previous cheater. Be good to each other.
One of my best friends had that conversation with a co-worker. She didn't know how to respond but she knew that wasn't the case. I concur and I'll tell you why.
I often see women react instead of act. There is always an action from their man that causes a reaction. Women analyze things deeply and pay attention to every detail. If your on a date and you phone is on vibrate or silent but you keep getting calls, a woman will think like this: "Only a woman will call back to back like that unless it's an emergency and men don't have emergency calls from anyone other than their mom or child. He keeps ignoring the call so it's not an emergency but someone or woman wants his attention. I know it for a fact because this was the case with 3 other boyfriends and it happened the same exact way". See fellas? When you think they are just jealous or dwelling on the past, its really a matter of you having the same behavior as a previous lover. You're not that guy but you're acting just like him. We aren't as blind as you would like us to be.
When a woman is punishing you for something another man did, it's usually her father not a boyfriend although it does happen that way sometimes and it usually shows in the way of a gold digger. A gold digger is after your money because she watched her father leave her mother penniless and she had to work hard to provide for her children or she had a boyfriend who manipulated her into being a cash cow and abused her emotions and generosity. If you are dating a trophy, this is highly likely.
If you are in a relationship with a lady who suspects you of cheating and you have no time to cheat, your phone isn't always ringing, she already knows your social network and personal friends, etc. yet, you are still a suspect... then you have a different problem. You are giving someone other than her your peak time and inner-most thoughts or something that you don't give to her. If you tell you're mother or a friend everything but keep the conversation with her very vague, you will be a suspect in some cases. Even if you have a therapist you tell it all to but not to her, she will feel you don't trust her and if she feels that way, she will be thinking you trust someone else. Those parts of you belong to her by title alone if nothing else. That's not a punishment - it's a reaction to you withholding parts of yourself, or exuding the attributes of a previous cheater. Be good to each other.
TMI!!
TMI! Or too much information. We all use the phrase. I just watched "I Love You... Man!" I noticed in the movie Zoe tells every single detail of her relationship to her girlfriends and sees nothing wrong with it but has a problem with her fiance telling his newly found best friend 1 simple but important detail about their sex life. What's the problem?
I'm married and find I tell my friends way too much. I even talk about the intimate details that should probably remain between us. That's not good - Especially if its something bad. I owe my husband an apology. If I tell everyone about the wrong he does they will not be so easily to forgive as I because they are not in love with him, I am. They will be more so against him because they feel that he betrayed the trust they had of him being good to me.
If the shoe was on the other foot, I would be furious at him for telling the intimate details of our relationship to his friends. They only have 1 side of the story. That isn't fair. We ladies have a habit of being too open with our friends and not open enough with our men. I feel convicted. Ladies you know your friends will talk. They will tell everyone else. I'll keep more to myself.
I'm married and find I tell my friends way too much. I even talk about the intimate details that should probably remain between us. That's not good - Especially if its something bad. I owe my husband an apology. If I tell everyone about the wrong he does they will not be so easily to forgive as I because they are not in love with him, I am. They will be more so against him because they feel that he betrayed the trust they had of him being good to me.
If the shoe was on the other foot, I would be furious at him for telling the intimate details of our relationship to his friends. They only have 1 side of the story. That isn't fair. We ladies have a habit of being too open with our friends and not open enough with our men. I feel convicted. Ladies you know your friends will talk. They will tell everyone else. I'll keep more to myself.
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